Inspire Not Require: Being an Example of Generosity to My Kids

Generally, we all want to teach our children to be generous. It starts from the time they are young and we try to get them to share. But that doesn’t always go very well.(And in my daughter’s case led to a recent weeping session when she lamented that nothing is ever hers, that she has to share everything with her brothers. Don’t we love her at all?)

Drama aside, I can probably teach them best by letting them see me do it. But that is hard for me because I’ve always preferred to be generous in secret. But I have tried to find ways for them to be involved.

At our church we stock backpacks for a local elementary school. These backpacks full of food, (easy meals that in many cases a child or older sibling can make without supervision) go home with students each weekend. This particular elementary school, at least 60 percent of the students qualify for the free lunch and breakfast program. But many of them don’t get dinner and sometimes don’t eat much over the weekend. So the Backpack Buddies program was born. This elementary school is just a few blocks from our church.

My kids remind me each week if they are in the grocery store with me, to buy something to go into the backpacks. On Sundays they take turns putting the items in the shopping cart in our church foyer. We’ve talked about how three meals a day is not standard in much of the world, and that even on our currently more limited budget we eat better than most.

My daughter has heard the story behind my shoes from The Root Collective. She can’t wait until she is old enough with big enough feet to buy a pair for herself.

Each Christmas we pick an item from Gospel for Asia or World Vision to gift a family: A lamb, chickens, rabbits or a goat. One year we were able to save up more and bless multiple families. The kids look through the catalog and put in their own ideas: Blankets, sponsorship for a VBS program, mosquito nets. They look for items that they themselves can understand the direct benefit of.

The harder part is showing them how to be generous in other ways. Helping a sibling or parent with chores. Cleaning up a mess they didn’t make simply because mommy needs it done. Being extra kind when someone is having a hard day.

This is not an area I’m great at. As I said before, my family tends to get the worst of me. How can I teach them to be generous with themselves if I’m not extending myself? Yet again parenting forces me to grow and change myself.

Next- How Do I Start? Looking for Ways to Be Generous