Promise to Bloom: The Second Decade of Marriage

The 17th of May was my 16th wedding anniversary and I kind of forgot. I mean, I remembered as soon as I looked at the calendar, but it wasn’t really on my mind. We had a couple days away without the kids the week before last, and we have a movie and dinner date coming up, so schedule wise we just didn’t manage to do anything on our actual anniversary day, which is mostly Ok.

My parents send us a lovely e-card from Jacquie Lawson. The opening image was of a vine getting leaves, initially it looked like ivy. I’ve always had a thing with ivy. My teenage bedroom had an ivy border and ivy bedspread. Our wedding had a garden theme, complete with ivy pattern napkins, and in the center pieces. We had a greenery and ivy theme in our bedroom until two years ago when I decided to treat ourselves to a new comforter and pillow set.

There is something beautiful about ivy because it will grow over anything, it trails and climbs and covers even the ugliest fences or walls making everything seem more natural.

But the animation of the card didn’t stop there, once the vine with covered in leaves it started to sprout flowers, first one color and then another and then another. I felt as if I was looking at the growth of a marriage.

One of the things I’ve learned about gardening is that when you are trying to produce something, you need to be particular about what you feed your plants. If I’m trying to get fruits. veggies or,flowers not enough sun or too much water can be a problem.  The plant may survive, but there won’t be any flowers. I tried to plant berries for years, only to realize that my yard didn’t get enough sun for them to produce fruit. But now, in a different house, I’m shocked by how quickly I’m seeing berry plants thrive and get ready to produce a harvest.

I’m happy that there growth in my marriage. But I also want to take the time to cultivate the flowers and fruit.

When we promise for better or for worse, it is more than a commitment to stick it out, though that is a big part of it.

It’s a promise to cultivate beauty and love, not just grit our teeth and make it work.

I want to make sure we’re getting enough light, so we can keeping blooming.