I can be Queen of the Pity Party. There have been days in the past few weeks where I have done more than my share of ranting about how unappreciated I am.
“These kids don’t need a mom, they need a cook and a maid. If I left tomorrow I don’t think they’d even notice as long as someone delivered their hourly snacks on time.”
Obviously that is a low moment. But it’s true that the temptation is always to fall into a pattern of believing the worst about myself, or at least about how others feel about me. When I make a mistake, I assume that my husband thinks I’m stupid and feels he can’t depend on me. When my kids tell me I’m the worst mother ever, I agree with them. When I see myself losing ground in a spiritual struggle, I believe God is disappointed in me.
The problem with each of those beliefs is they are all lies.
Little lies have a way of working into my thoughts and skew how I see myself. Click To TweetMy children need me, even when they say or think they don’t. My husband depends on and believes in me, even if I do sometimes make mistakes and I’m not perfect. There is nothing I can do to make God stop loving me. He looks at me with compassion when I make mistakes and he always wants to help me grow.
Love is the foundation of it all. Why is it so hard to fully integrate into my mind and heart the concept of God's deep and unconditional love for me? Click To TweetIt seems presumptuous and I feel deeply unworthy of such love. Yet it is mine.
When I am secure in who I am as a beloved Daughter of the Most High God, I can face any challenge that is before me. There is no room for pity parties.
I can raise my children and support my husband in strength, because I don’t depend on them for my identity. I am uplifted by their love and affection, but that is not what is supposed to sustain me. Only the love of Jesus can do that.
The same love that drove him to the cross when everything in his human body was screaming for him to run the other way. When even in his divinity, he begged the Father to take the cup of suffering from him. Love so deep that he would give everything so that I could be marked as one of his own.
I am forever stained not by my sin, but by his blood. Click To TweetI am indelibly, eternally marked as his beloved.
Because he first loved me, I can love my children, my husband, the people of the community and world in which I love, without fear. I can even in my own, meager, inadequate way, attempt to love him in return.
Beautiful post, Bethany. We’re praying for you!
And I rather doubt that Jesus thinks that you love Him in a meager way at all. I suspect He’s deeply honoured.
Your neighbour this week.
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2018/08/your-dying-spouse-506-play-man-fmf.html
I mostly meant meager in comparison to His love, but yes, point taken. 🙂 Your prayers mean more than I can say.
Amen and amen! I can so relate to this–especially when I did the stay-at-home-mom thing. It was so easy to forget I was a princess and not the scullery maid!
Ha Ha, yes, I definitely feel like a scullery maid most days. But I’m realizing how much I am needed in ways that can’t be replaced by paid staff.
oh, it’s like me talking… now I need to listen to me talking! 🙂 good post!
Isn’t it the perfect truth? Great post. #20 today.
Yes eternally marked as his beloved!
I suspect I could challenge your “queen of the pity party” crown, so I appreciate these words. Don’t forget who and who’s you are!
Brooke, thanks so much for stopping by! (I find that usually when I need reminding about something, others do too. 😉 )
I, too, feel so unworthy. Of Christ’s love..and even the deep love of my family and those around me. Thank you for the reminder of what a precious gift is mine.