August was the usual level of crazy and while I was ready for it, I definitely wasn’t READY for it.
Loved
Probably the best part of this month and the only thing I can describe as loved, would be the positive growth I’ve seen in my kids. Both my husband and I had intense work schedules this month which required our kids to step up and take responsibility for more around the house. It was far from perfect but it was hopeful. Meals were cooked, desserts were made for events we were attending, rooms were tidied and vacuumed. It gave me hope that some day my kids might really become responsible adults who can independently care for themselves. (I did know this was always most likely the case, but sometimes in the daily trenches it’s hard to remember).
Learning
You don’t get to decide how your body responds. You can eat all the best foods and do the best exercise, and sometimes it just isn’t enough. In some ways, I’m in much better shape than I was at the start of the year. I have more energy and overall feel better than I have in a while. I’m also heavier than I’d like to be and my cholesterol isn’t great. But I’m not longer anemic and my hormones are more balanced. For some reason, my body has reacted in frustrating ways to otherwise good things. I’m learning to be patient with myself and try to trust the process, possibly accepting a new normal with a trajectory toward overall better health.
Went Well
I had a major training that a coordinated at work. It’s been in the works for six months or more and I’ve definitely been feeling the pressure. It was a serious financial investment for our organization and there were lots of details to be worked out. But in the end it went well, aside from a couple small problems that are hardy worth mentioning, the feedback from both teachers and parents was overwhelmingly positive. It felt good to see this project from idea to completion and see what I’m capable of doing in my role.
Let Go
I’m trying to let go of the fact that I can’t make kids’ childhood magical. My youngest is about to turn ten which means the little years are well and truly over. There were so many things I wanted to do with my kids, experiences I wanted to give them. Most of them didn’t happen. Sometimes for very good reasons (like finances), some not as good reasons (I never made the time) and some were just the unfortunate realities of life (only so much time, energy and money and never enough of any of them).
I’m trying to find ways to engage in the time we have left. Every moment isn’t magical and in fact most aren’t. I still look forward to when they go to bed at night, and I also miss them sometimes. But all I have is what’s in front of me and I’m trying to believe that regular connection will make a bigger impact than one time events.
Here comes September. There are some big firsts coming, it’s already scheduled to the hilt but I’m still hoping and praying for moments of rest.
Our kids are only little for a short while, cherish the moments!! The best advice I can give you is to not be distracted when they are talking to you. I set aside everything and gave them all my attention when they needed to talk, and now at 22 and 20, they know I am going to listen, so they talk. It’s not about the big moments, it’s exactly what you said, regular connections will make a bigger impact. I hope despite the busyness, that September is a great month for you and your family.
It’s great that your kids are stepping up and learning new responsibilities, and I’m glad your training course went well. Hope you manage to find some moments of rest in your busy September.