4 Ways We Make Our Single Income Family Work

Single income families are very rare these days. Although we were lucky enough that my husband’s recent job change came with a larger salary, we have been a single income family since our first child was born, when his salary alone was less than 2/3 of what we made together.

I want to preface all of this by saying that I am in no way criticizing families who do things differently from how we do. Below is a partial explanation of how we managed to be a single income family for years on what was considered, at least by the U.S. government, to be just above poverty level. Over the years our income has increased and so have our expenses. We have two children with complicated and expensive physical and neuropsychological issues which led to lots of medical bills. We made all of that work, at least in part because of the following.

We Keep a Strict Budget

I know a lot of people think of budget as a dirty word, but really it’s giving every dollar a job. Since for many years we had fewer dollars than the average two income family, we had to give every dollar a crucial job. For the first few years of our marriage my husband did the finances. He did a good job, but he wasn’t precise.

He had general guidelines in his head and he knew we could pay all the bills, but beyond that, we kind of spent whatever we earned, which admittedly, after rent, food, insurance, etc. wasn’t much.

Then when our daughter was less than a year old, he suggested that I take over so that I could better understand where exactly our money was going, and maybe find ways to stretch it further.

I’m a Myers Briggs J, which is you know anything about that, means that I love a good list, and a well done Excel spreadsheet makes me feel as though all is right with the world. I went line by line through our budget, figured out exactly how much cash we had in all of our accounts and started revamping our budget.

I should stop right here and say that not everyone has to budget in the same way.

I found tons of areas that we were able to save money. We called our car insurance company and got them to lower our rate. I realized that our trash hauler had added a big fuel surcharge the previous year when the price of gas was high, but never removed it when the price dropped. We called and got them to lower our monthly bill as well.

I also researched more things I could make from scratch, and how to use reusable products instead of consumable ones. Over the years we’ve converted to cloth diapers, cloth napkins and towels instead of paper, and even (eek) reusable menstrual products.

It made a measurable difference and allowed us to preserve our savings account much longer than we would have otherwise. My husband was a full time student, and while he had grants and loans to pay his tuition, we had to dip into our savings every semester to pay for books. It slowly siphoned off a lot of money that probably should have stayed in our bank account, but our strict budgeting kept things manageable.

We Each Get Some Fun Money, But Not Much

When we were first married, we each got $20 a month to spend, no questions asked. That doesn’t sound like much, but we didn’t have much. Over the years the amount has gone up and down and even disappeared for a while. But recently we went back to $20 a month again. That doesn’t go very far, but it’s enough to keep me from feeling guilty if I want to go out with my friends for coffee, or he wants to buy a new computer game.

This is important because since he earns and money and I manage it, neither of us felt like we had money that was our own. Just by having a small amount we could spend without discuss or criticism, it helped us avoid frugality fatigue and have a few little luxuries in our lives.

We Avoid Lifestyle Inflation

This one has been difficult. We are in our midthirties, which means most of our friends are starting to go places in their careers and upgrade their houses, cars and vacation destinations. For the most part, this hasn’t been the case with us.

We were able to buy a bigger home in early 2017, which was a really big deal for us because previously we thought we couldn’t afford it. (We ended up keeping our previous property as a rental, which is a whole other story). But we were specific about how much additional debt we were comfortable taking on and we definitely had to compromise on a number of things to stick to that.

We didn’t get smart phones until two years ago, we opted to use Republic Wireless so that our monthly bills would be reasonable. Sure I would love to have a brand new iphone, but I also like being home with my kids, and paying my bills on time. That’s the trade off.

I have to avoid the temptation to buy what everyone else has, even if, in some cases, I could really use it. Sometimes the discipline of just not spending money, is an important one.

Sometimes We Aren’t A Single Income Family

There have been short periods of time where we weren’t a single income family. I have occasionally been asked to return to the non-profit where I used to work, on a temporary basis. Even though we were committed to me being at home, my husband and I decided that part-time work with a set end date was worth the temporary inconvenience.

This only worked for us because my mother was kind enough to watch the children for me here and there, and at one point I had a kid-swap set up with another mom.

I have also made a small amount of money from my blog in the past. Last summer I babysat sometimes for friends whose kids were out of school for the summer.

The amounts of money, while small, helped to fill gaps in our budget, but were more like windfalls than regular income. We couldn’t count on it or plan for it but we are always grateful when it happens and try to use it wisely.

Every family’s financial situation is unique. I know that to even have a parent at home is for many a luxury they can’t afford. (However, if staying home with your kids is something you desperately want to do and feel that you can’t, I highly recommend this book by Erin Odom of The Humbled Homemaker. You may be surprised at the unique things that can be done to make staying home with your children affordable).

But in many cases, it is possible to be a single income family but it may require some deep analysis of your finances and a lot of sacrifice.

It has for us, but looking back, I think we both feel that it was worth it.