Faith, Five Minute Friday, Writing

I Choose to Be Willing: When the Flesh is Weak

July 12, 2019 by Bethany 6 Comments

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I say that a lot. I feel justified in saying it because Jesus said it, so I figure he’s a good model. Except I’m also not sure it’s actually true.

My spirit is not always willing. But I want to be. Click To Tweet

My husband and I often say that we want to want to do something that we know is important but can’t seem to muster up enthusiasm for. I want a clean house, but I don’t actually want to clean my house. I want to want to clean my house. I feel similarly about playing with my children. There are certain activities I enjoy with my kids but some of them are mind-numbing. I know I should want to be with them no matter what we are doing, but I don’t.

I want to continue to grow and change further into the person God is calling me to be. But sometimes, if I’m honest, I don’t really want to be changed. Because while the goal is lofty the process is rarely pleasant. I want to be more patient but I know that will probably involve more opportunities to be patient (and frankly, I already have more than enough of those already, which is why I know I need to work on it.) I want my flaws instantly erased, not repaired.

Renovations of the spirit can be tedious and painful. I want to be willing but my flesh is weak. Click To Tweet

So often the things in life that will make us the happiest require periods of unhappiness to get to them. That’s why happiness itself cannot be an exclusive goal, it is self-defeating in it’s singular focus. I want the end result, but I wish there was a way to skip the process.

I want a good relationship with my husband. I want to build a foundation for a strong relationship with my children into adulthood. Those things all require effort that I must put in now, without the guarantee of the outcome I want. I have to be willing to do the work.

Except being willing is an act of defiance against the laziness of the flesh. It is saying I will even if I’d rather not. It is saying I do, even when part of me really doesn’t. It is saying I am, when I think I’m not.

So yes, I am willing. I will myself to get up when I’m too tired, to love when I’m been treated unkindly, to dispense mercy when I would prefer wrath, to extend grace when I’d prefer fairness. I get to decide, I am not held to the whims of my baser instincts. I do not have to be captive to my negative impulses. I can choose to be willing. I can decide I want to.

The flesh is weak. But my willing spirit can be strong.