It had been a rough week, a rough month if I was being honest. I had been running on adrenaline, procrastination and survival mode for long enough and I was almost out of juice. I hit a wall. A wall that looked like PMS plus a two day headache and a daughter who decided to die on the hill of not doing her school work, while all I could think of was all the writing and blogging I needed to be doing.
I could feel myself sinking fast and I wanted to run and hide but there was no where to go. I felt pathetic reaching out to friends, especially when lately it seems most of the people in my life have even bigger problems than I do. That day support looked like a friend stopping by with a vanilla latte, even though she wasn’t sure what kind of coffee I like and then chatting for an hour. It looked like another friend affirming my decision to quit something. (I firmly hate quitting things and doing so, ever, is a long term struggle of mine).
The problems are not gone, the impasses far from solved. But I don’t feel quite so alone anymore. That friend who brought the latte is recovering from PTSD, but she was having a good day. The other friend is currently without a job and scraping by on unemployment. Even when we are dealing with our own stuff, we can still support others. It doesn’t always have to be formal, sometimes it’s as a simple as saying “I know you feel alone, but you aren’t. I know it sucks right now, but it won’t always be this way.”
If you are having one of those days that is eating you alive, I wish I could bring you a cup of coffee and a brownie. But since I can’t I’ll just say this.
You aren’t alone in feeling the way you do. I know it’s hard right now, but it won’t always be like this. I know what it’s like to feel like you can barely keep your head above water. It can get better.