When my children were young we survived a lot of difficult things. My first child didn’t sleep for 13 months. Second child had failure to thrive, severe reflux and feeding issues. Third kid also had feeding issues.
We survived those seasons by reminding ourselves that it wouldn’t last forever. Eventually they would sleep. Eventually they would eat.
Then one of our children had behavior issues that made life almost impossible which led to a Sensory Process Disorder and ADHD diagnosis. Then another child developed personality changes, insomnia and general frailty which led to a Celiac diagnosis. (9 years later, that same child still struggles with anxiety and is also anemic.) We have a child with dyscalculia. It’s likely our whole crew is various kinds of neurospicy.
Those problems are ongoing. It’s not a phase and it’s not going away. I keep praying, and hoping for it to get easier. Some issues have gotten easier, others have gotten harder.
Some things just aren’t a phase. They won’t pass. I keep praying for strength. Strength to let go. Strength to let circumstances teach lessons that I can’t. It can feel like a weight that never lets up.
But the truth is that the facts of the situation may not change, but how I deal with them can.
Sometimes, I look only at what’s in front of me. I try not to borrow trouble or worry about the future but just love the person in front of me or get through the current challenge. (This exact moment will pass even if it feels interminable at the time, not unlike those hours rocking a refluxy baby).
Other times, I choose to look ahead. I remind myself that it’s likely that just like the baby will eventually sleep and the toddler will eventually be potty trained, that teenager’s brain will likely mature. Yes, there are challenges specific to my individual children that make their stories unique. But we aren’t done yet, they have a life ahead and I try to hold those any plans or dreams loosely and put them into God’s hands.
As often as I can (though perhaps not as often as I should). I choose to look up. I make an active attempt to lean into the strength given to me through the redemption of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. I intentionally chose to push away the intrusive thoughts that threaten my peace (and if I’m honest, I often let them steal it entirely.) Instead I cling to ancient truths and pray like a child, in simplicity and hope.
I’m inspired by the words of Charles Spurgeon when he said “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”
I’m not there yet. I’m not sure if I ever will be. Maybe it’s just a phase, or maybe I’ll get stronger. Or maybe I’ll just keep throwing myself into the everlasting arms.
If you enjoyed this Five Minute Friday post, check out the other people free writing on the word PHASE
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