Keep Your Peace: 3 Ways to Combat Decision Fatigue in a Upside Down World

I told my husband the other day that I am so tired of making decisions. We probably all feel that way. Which is a little bit weird because it many ways we have fewer choices available than ever.

Depending on your state restrictions you may not have had the freedom to decide whether to go to work or church. You may have had limited choices for your children’s schooling as well. Yet, I still feel free as though the last few months have been spent making constant decisions.

From what masks to buy, to what to do about school or when to return to church. How to keep our family and friends safe while also caring for the emotional needs of our children and ourselves.

The usual decisions like what to cook becomes more complicated when you aren’t sure what food will be available. Insecure or lost employment makes every purchase a question. Can those shoes or coat be worn a bit longer before they need to be replaced? Should my husband take that new job opportunity? What are our best options for healthcare?

The list goes on and sometimes I feel like every moment of my day is spent making one kind of decision or another. I find myself saying no to my children more often than strictly necessary because no is simple but yes is complicated.

I’ve also been reading a lot of about decision making which was totally by chance.

This past spring I read Anne Bogel’s new book Don’t Overthink It and now I’m working my way through Kendra Adachi’s The Lazy Genius Way. I’ve learned a lot of important tips about how to deal with the decision overload of pandemic life.

I cannot lay claim to these ideas but nor I can tell you specifically where Anne or Kendra says these specifically in their books. Instead, think of them as what I gleaned and processed as I work my way through these well written books during this chaotic time.

Let It Wait

Some decisions are not as urgent as we believe. Sure, one of my kids may need a new coat but it’s September and it was almost 80 degrees today. My fears about reliable supply chains and best prices may be forcing me into a false crisis. If I’m having trouble deciding, sometimes the best solution is to wait.

I delayed purchasing certain school supplies and curriculum this summer and I’m glad I did. When our school situation changed suddenly and then shortly after my husband lost his job, I was glad I hadn’t spent money on products that I probably wouldn’t have used.

Just Say No

I said earlier that I tend to tell my kids no when I’m overwhelmed because no is simple and yes is complicated. Set some hard boundaries for yourself where you just say no.

I wrote about making school decisions that way this year. Once the reality of the fall set in, a lot of our usual options disappeared. But many new ones appeared. I didn’t have the bandwidth to decide which pod, or activity to join. What if the regulations changed? What if my kids’ hated it?

So my default answer became no.

We haven’t joined a homeschooling pod. We haven’t joined any new co-ops or started any new extra-curriculars. Instead of decision fatigue, I just said no. If that means we have a light, Sabbath like year, so much the better.

This is one of the advantages of going through a period of unemployment as well. If an expense isn’t absolutely necessary, that’s an easy no as well. I don’t enjoy being under tight financial constraints, but I do enjoy some of the freedom it brings.

Decisions are tools not masters. You don't have to sacrifice your peace on the altar of choices. Click To Tweet

Reserve the Right to Change Your Mind

Ok, now I realize that changing your mind may feel like making a decision twice. But for me, I tend to find decisions extra exhausting when the result feels irrevocable. While change is work, sticking with a choice you regret can also be even more exhausting and soul-sucking.

So when I’m stressed over yet another decision that must be made (and it can’t wait and no doesn’t feel like the right answer), I reserve the right to change my mind.

I was agonizing over a new math curriculum for my kids. My husband does math with the kids but it has been taking a bit more time than he has available. We’ve been continuing with what we used last year even though none of us loved it.

There was a limited time opportunity to try something new for a lot less money but the window was closing. We went back and forth and then finally decided just to do it. Partly because, it has a one year money back guarantee. So there is a built in way to change our mind. If we hated it, we weren’t out the money and we won’t be wondering if we should have tried it if we struggle over math later this year.

When we started going back to church, I wasn’t sure how it would work. We were sitting distanced from family and friends (that has since changed a bit), wearing masks and there was no Sunday school or kids’ church. Our kids are particularly rowdy and we weren’t sure how it would go. But I said we should try it. If it didn’t work, we could go back to watching the service at home. But that hadn’t been working so well for us anyway so I figured we had nothing to lose.

It took a couple weeks, but my kids are actually handling the service quite well. They bring drawing and other quiet activities and I think the older ones may even be listening and getting something out of the sermon. Someone recently had the idea of creating family zones with extra leg room (or floor room) and bins of easily sanitized toys and supplies. This has made it even easier and hopefully will make it possible for other families to return to church as well.

Sometimes giving yourself permission to change your mind makes it easier to make a decision and take the edge of the constant decision fatigue that seems to color these days.

I’m trying to embrace the lovely limitations of this season, and hope that someday I will be able to look back on this as the ground in which important growth in my life began.