My Day is Coming

I feel like I’m always saying no. My kids want to do lots of things. Some of them are little, like get ice cream. Others are bigger like go to Disney World. I say no to the former because it isn’t always in the budget and often they’ve already had enough sugar, the latter because I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to afford it.

My go-to line is “I”m not sure, we’ll see.”

Daily life with my kids is exhausting. We have a minimum of three appointments a week. After we’ve argued about how we don’t have freeze pops for breakfast, why they must empty the dishwasher (one of the only chores they have), and how it’s polite to get dressed and not spend the day in dirty undies and a t-shirt, I have little energy for much else and usually it’s only 9 AM.

But I also want to make room to hear my children’s dreams. For my daughter, two things keep coming up again and again. Girls night with mommy and going to the beach.

I realized we hadn’t seen the ocean in four years. My husband really doesn’t like the beach. I enjoyed it pre-kids and still do, but a day trip to the beach with children is one of those things I avoid whenever possible. I enjoy staying at the beach for a couple of days, but driving three or more hours each way and baking under the hot sun all day while trying to amuse the children who suddenly declare themselves bored, is not my idea of a good time.

I texted back and forth with my sister until we found a date that would work for her family as well. I asked my husband to book a day off of work. I bought my daughter a new beach towel and made sure we had sunscreen in stock.  I still have to pack the gluten free food, assemble all the beach items and get the directions printed out as back up. But next week, we’ll be making this small dream come true.

I know I probably won’t get the gushing response I’m hoping for, but I’ll settle for a genuine thank you. This is the child who has been in pain for the last year, unbeknownst to us most of the time. The little girl who is rapidly growing into a tween with an attitude. She still barely eats enough to keep a bird alive and we have nearly daily conflicts.

But I want her to know that I remember the things that matter to her.

I’m reminded again that I have a Father who loves to give me good things. He is not deaf to my concerns. He knows the things that matter to me. I often don’t get what I want, and when I do it’s rarely in the timing I wish for, but I know he remembers.  My day at the ocean is coming, I just need to wait for it.