It’s another busy day as I rush through loads of laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep. By the time I get everyone fed and seated and prepare my own plate, someone needs seconds, or thirds. Similar events repeat again in the morning as I get everyone fed and dressed and begin the lessons. I try to carve out moments for myself. Whenever they want to do something fun, I find myself in a corner somewhere finishing yet another chore or catching a rare moment alone.
Sometimes it feels easier to just not bother to include myself. I’m tempted to remain on the peripheries of my family’s life, providing support and service rather than as an equal member. This is not because I don’t believe I’m worthy of it, but because the effort required feels insurmountable.
Yet, I don't want to be a background figure when I should be a the forefront of my children's lives. Click To TweetThis means sometimes I leave the dishes or the laundry for the extra long cuddle. I have to set aside my book or delay my bath so I can be a part of the bedtime routine or the pre-bedtime antics. I don’t do this all the time, but I need to be willing to attempt it sometimes.
This weekend is supposed to be all about moms, but, as it often is, it’s really about the kids. Letting them give me their crafts and handmade cards and trying not to wish I was alone on a tropical island instead. I may not always want to be with them, but they want to be with me. They may not know how to appreciate me, but they will never learn if I don’t at least acknowledge their meager efforts.
I’d be lying if I said I have no expectations for this year, I wish that were true. I do aspire for a time when I can accept without expecting and never be disappointed because I feel loved by the people in my family. That is something I’m working on, but I can’t get better at it, if I don’t enter in and engage.
I love your insight into mommy-hood and including yourself. This is so true… as one who has been there. My mom was the one who told me to quit trying to keep a perfect house and play with my children. I’ve never regretted following her advice. And I didn’t follow it perfectly. =)
“That is something I’m working on, but I can’t get better at it, if I don’t enter in and engage.” Practice helps to improve our game.
Definitely still working on it myself. After all, the dishes and laundry must eventually be done, and I’m certainly all for self-care for moms. But I don’t want to miss my children growing up either.
How true—this weekend is about the kids on so many levels. It gets better, I promise! Anyway, so much wisdom, Bethany. I love your writing and your perspective, Keep going and I hope you get a mini- island getaway moment somehow, even if it’s just a relaxing bath.
Hubby decided to take us all to breakfast. I decided to embrace it instead of wishing we weren’t in a restaurant with three children, one of which can only eat two things on the menu. (Celiac sucks, there is just no other way to put it) It wasn’t too bad, and in the end I was glad we were there together. (And that I always carry kids card games, and toy trains in my purse 😉 )
Hi Bethany! “But I also don’t want to be a background figure when I should be a the forefront of my children’s lives. This means sometimes I leave the dishes or the laundry for the extra long cuddle. I have to set aside my book or delay my bath so I can be a part of the bedtime routine or the pre-bedtime antics. I don’t do this all the time, but I need to be willing to attempt it sometimes.” I am achingly feeling this one. I think we forget the main thing, don’t we. I’m finding that so much in my life can wait… Thank you for this post. It is heartfelt.
Hope you had a nice Mothers Day. You are doing the best you can as a mom!