31 Days of Cultivating a Generous Heart, Faith, Family, Writing

Risk Getting Close: Generosity as a Tool for Building Intimate Relationships

October 31, 2018 by Bethany 3 Comments

I talked earlier this month about how difficult it can be to accept help (though it probably shouldn’t be). But it is so crucial to learn to accept help, especially from the people we care about.

Generosity has the potential to create deeper relationships. When you selflessly give to someone else, it takes your relationship to a new level. Click To Tweet

This will look different depending on your love language. It’s easier for those with a gift giving love language to give presents where someone with an acts of service love language would rather do practical things. Quality time love language just wants to give of their time and presence to say that they care. Words of affirmation is all about encouragement. Physical touch, while it may not always apply, still has a place depending on the kind of relationship and the people involved.

When I accept help from a friend, like it or not, it changes our relationship. Whether that change is good or bad is up to me. Click To Tweet

I have to decide whether I’m going to accept her generosity as a symbol of her love for me, or if I’m going to withdraw my heart because the apparent inequality of our roles is uncomfortable. Relationships are rarely completely equitable at all times. An intimate relationship that is built on love and honestly, also includes the knowledge that season will fluctuate.

If we are both willing, generosity can take a casual friendship into a closer one. Not because we are buying each others love but because we recognize in a deeper way our need for each other. We do need each other in this life. We were made for community and healthy interdependence.

When we are willing to extend ourselves, consistently and repeatedly into each others lives, we will build the kind of relationships that stand the test of time and enrich our lives both here and in eternity.