My life is filled with managing diets, ferrying children to therapy appointments, and schooling. I’m also involved in church ministry. I see other writers and bloggers publishing their books and, basically doing what I want to do. Some have small children, others don’t. Some even homeschool. I feel like I should be able to do it all because they can.
Except maybe I can’t.
I don’t want to look back at the things I regret never getting around to. (My second draft manuscript of my Lenten devotional comes to mind, not to mention my twelve year old unfinished novel that is gathering proverbial dust deep in the bowels of my computer hard drive). But I also am needed now. No, it isn’t always in the ways I wish I was. I often wish for more self sufficient children, ones who could tie their own shoes, and get themselves a snack without having to involve me.
But right now I am in a season where this isn’t possible. My own desires and interests often fall by the wayside. I question why I can’t do it all the way it seems that others. But that is a pointless comparison.
It’s Ok, and in fact, healthy to admit our limits. None of us can do it all, and certainly not all at once. Click To TweetSome things have to take precedence, my children’s health and education, and whatever that entails. My sanity, sometimes that looks like going to bed early, other times it’s opting for writing instead of Netflix in the evening. (The reverse can also be true). There is no perfect formula or magic method.
There is nothing wrong with a small life, if that is what we are called to. I used to believe that I could only be of use to God if I did big work. But maybe my calling is very small. To write for a few hundred readers, to tell stories that I’m passionate about. To shepherd a handful of young dancers and facilitate the support of fellow moms. To share my love of writing with students, so that even if they never like to write, they will know how.
I may never hold a Skype training session with hundreds of attendees or have thousands of followers on social media. Or maybe I will. But it probably won’t be right now, where my days are spent coordinating logistics and scheduling for a family of five, providing the meals and keeping our home from getting so filthy that someone calls the health department.
It isn’t a glamorous calling, but I’m learning to embrace it more willingly.
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