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This week’s prompt is ready.

I thought I was ready. I read the books, did the research. I found ways to pinch pennies and compromise when the budget wouldn’t allow me to do what I wanted. But the reality is harder. My five year old and two year old at home with me all day. Trying to get the housework done while trying to make sure we do something of educational value while keeping up with the steady demand for food and snacks. Adventures in Odyssey plays in the background as I finish my cold eggs at 10:30. We are already past breakfast and morning snack but still they cry for more. More raisins, another muffin, more of me. That’s all they really want. More of me. To play with them and be with them. We read, we work on writing. Read aloud is interrupted by my shouts for my son to get down of a high perch or put back the items he swipes from the kitchen counter.

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As so many of my friends send their kids off to school and crow with excitement at having moments to themselves again, I find that my world is fuller than even. To care for and teach them. To manage my household. Engage with my husband. Somehow find moments for myself. One can be certain you’ve made the right choice and still wish that it wasn’t.

I’m never ready. But life keeps changing and I’m needed more, not less as time goes on. I need to learn to be OK with that.

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