Last weekend we got away and it was great timing. We spent a long weekend with old friends in a hundred year old cabin on a small lake. Even with the kids along, it was restful and rejuvenating. We had such a good time we stayed an extra day. Which ended up being a perfect choice because my husband lost his job the day after we got back.
We’d known this was possibly coming for a while, and I’m not entirely sure it’s fully sunk in yet. He was a remote employee, so everything was handled via the web and I was already used to having him home during the day. But things are still different.
While we were up at the lake, we both tried kayaking for the first time. It’s one of those things that I was always afraid to do and now I wonder why. If money was no object and we had a convenient lake nearby, I’d by buying one tomorrow.
Out on the water, by myself, it was so quiet. The lake is generally calm, the wind whips up occasionally and there are motor boats to watch out for, but when I took the kayak out for the first time, it was peaceful. I felt completely calm and in control. I knew I didn’t really know what I was doing. But I was wearing a life jacket and I didn’t get too far beyond visibility from the top of the boat house or shouting distance from the dock.
There were times my arms grew tired. In the past I might have panicked or chided myself for not being strong enough. But instead I just stopped paddling. Click To TweetI bobbed up and down on the gentle current until I could catch my breath. The whole experience was amazing.
I’ve spent so much of my life being afraid of things. Things that might happen, things that probably wouldn’t happen, things that did happen. Never once did the obsessive worry make it easier to deal with legitimate bad news.
I’ve been feeling so tired the past few months. Worn out with the weight of it all and the sense of impending doom. But I can honestly say my anxiety was lower than in the past. When we finally heard the final word about my husband’s job, it was almost a relief. At least now we could unhook our boats and move onto the next thing.
While yes, we are doing all the correct logistical things, I’m also trying to avoid the usual rush when there is a sudden life change. Today I felt harried and stressed, even though it was just the typical kinds of things.
But I remembered how I felt out on that lake, and how freeing it felt to just stop paddling. It’s safe for me to float for a while and embrace the peace.
We are headed out into open water with only the sun and stars to guide us. For now, we're OK with that. Because we know the one who made the sun stand still and calls the stars by name. Click To Tweet
I KNOW, isn’t it great when you can just stop padding for a while, to see what’s about you? We had a year and a half wait after my hubby’s job was gone before we figured out a new way to be. It’s good to paddle and it’s good to rest.
Bethany, you epitomize gratitude and grace with these lovely, lovely words.
Please know that we are prying for you.
Andrew, as always, I appreciate your prayers.
Beautiful reflection. We’ve also been through a job loss. May you see how God has already provided for this time. FMF13
Oh, you are inspiring me to try it. I have wanted to go kayaking but have not made the time and there is a lake near us. Thanks for the inspiration. FMF 15
I honestly wish I’d discovered it years sooner. Much easier than a canoe in my opinion. Though I have no desire to try white water kayaking. It’s all about the peace and relaxation for me.
This is a powerful post…to your own self, as well, I’m sure. I was in your shoes several years ago. My husband received a phone call. By the end of that phone call, he had no job, no insurance, and no severance. Then we had to get dressed and go to my niece’s wedding with happy faces.
to “stop paddling” is to trusting Him, isn’t it? Such a great reminder. I love your quote at the end. We are so blessed to know Him! My prayers are with you during this time of change…and I do pray. It will be okay, my friend.
Thank you, Margaret. This is not the first time we’ve faced major job loss, but the first time since we’ve had children. Apparently I’ve matured in the last 13 years because I feel much less anxious than I expected. No matter what comes, I know God has been good to us, and he isn’t going to fail us now.
Bethany, I learned to Kayak this summer too after being terrified of it for….well, my whole life! Like you, I have been afraid of so much and I just love your thought of “stop paddling”! Seems your words have come at the right time because I can take them to heart now that I’ve been on the water too! Thanks for sharing!
Glad you discovered something you were afraid of was actually something to love! Glad my theme spoke to you.
Several years ago my husband lost his job…a quick phone call, and he was without a job, insurance, and no severance. It was a little scary to me, but God provided. He will for you, as well. I live near nice big creeks and the Tennessee River, lots of people like to kayak around here…I’m not one of them, but you made your experience sound so lovely that one day I might give it a try. What you said, ” Never once did the obsessive worry make it easier to deal with legitimate bad news.” < I really need to remember that, surely do. I need to stop peddling every now and then, too.
I will pray for you and your family during this transition. I know you'll be okay because you know Jehovah Jireh.
FMF 19
I find peace on the water too!
Ok, I have never tried kayaking…but you make it sound wonderful! No sure why I have never tried. No doubt, I’m afraid as well:(
Wonderful to take time to stop and sit in God’s still waters. Thank you for writing this so honestly, Bethany.
Thanks for stopping in. The water is a little choppier over here today. 😉
As I read your story, I sensed a supernatural peace, peace that only God can give. He knows what lies ahead for you, and He can be trusted. That is something I too have had to learn. Love your title and theme: “It’s okay to stop paddling.” –FMF 22
Your words are so filled with peace. Isn’t it a funny thing when we are hit with life change how we often surprise ourselves by our reactions? I loved this, “It’s safe for me to float for a while and embrace the peace.” I’ve been in a holding pattern of sorts myself, but I look forward to embracing the float. Praying for you both!
Beautiful post. Praying for you and your husband in this transition. Visiting from FMF
Such an eye opener, beautiful words. Prayers for this season.