We’re in the latter quarter of 2021, and in some ways, I feel like we’re in 2020 on repeat. We seem to repeat the same cycles in our culture, our church, and our families.
Cycles of grief, separation, isolation, fear, resignation, acceptance, compromise, and equilibrium. I almost feel as though I’m navigating a collective movement through the stages of grief, except it just keeps going.
The denial of how things really are. Of watching facts be manipulated, and false optimism or cynicism in equal measure.
The anger at all we’ve lost, and sometimes anger misdirected at those around me.
The near-constant changing and negotiating of rules and standards in order to control the uncontrollable. The desperate grasping at even ridiculous solutions in gain a sense of security however false or limited.
The sinking feeling that comes with the acceptance of our situation and the doom it seems to inspire, that the world will never be the same again. That this new normal is all there is, and the best way to survive this is to lower my expectations and cast off the bright dreams of early 2020 in favor of the realities of an ever bleaker-looking 2022.
But I can break the cycle. We can break the cycle.
Instead of saying that I’m still here, as a rueful statement of pseudo-optimism (after all it could be worse), I need to declare peace over my soul. That whatever the circumstances I have passed through in the last year and a half, and however uncertain the future continues to be, I embrace an inner stillness.
That in that chosen stillness, I would let my soul be restored. That the pain of the past and even the present can begin to be washed away and damage mended.
Because while I know the world may never be the same again, I hope I won’t be either.
That I would learn to reach for the peace that surpasses all understanding in all circumstances. That I would allow my heart and mind to be guided by the perfect example that is Christ Jesus, not my own emotions or the fear pedaled in the headlines. That I would leave behind me the anger, and fear, and stop thinking I can negotiate my way into control.
When I embrace my powerlessness I can be still in light of His omnipotence. Click To TweetBut when I keep forgetting who is in charge and trying to direct my life with my own agenda, I exchange confidence for uncertainty.
Why should we have acceptance when we can live in confidence regardless of our circumstances?
May you find stillness within, even amid chaos without, and may the joy of the Lord truly be your strength.
“Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!”
Psalm 27: 7-13
One strange lesson I’ve learned this last year that gives me peace is that things were always this uncertain, we just weren’t aware of it. That may sound dark, but even if we could snap our fingers and make covid go away, death, loneliness, financial insecurity still exist in our world. That’s why it’s so important for believers to be light and salt in the world.
Amie, FMF #14
True! I am being ever reminded of God’s sovereignty and his eternal goodness. It helps me get perspective when I feel like I’m responsible to fix everything. I don’t have to have solutions to all the problems but I can point people to the one who holds all our days in his hands.
I agree with the previous comment. The pandemic has highlighted just how fragile we are and dependent on God’s providence. Thank you for capturing the sense of fatalism that can come with hard times, and challenging us to be still and find our real security. That is something we can offer to a hurting world.
I think many of us live lives that give us the illusion of control. Without that illusion, we are forced to fully accept our lack of control and surrender to God’s providence. Yes! That confidence is something we can offer a hurting world.
I’m done with all the talking heads
that say that they know more than all
about our hopes, about our dreads,
about the writing on the wall.
They talk about a gain-of-function,
that pandemic is OK,
at their academic luncheon
for which taxes are marked to pay.
They change the protocols and rules,
denying what they said before,
assuming that we all are fools
who cannot see an open door
leading to where logic meets,
and puts the poobahs on the streets.
Andrew, I too have grown tired of talking heads. It almost doesn’t seem to matter if I agree with them or not, I just want them to stop talking. My pastor once said that the media pedals fear because it keeps us reading headlines and keeps us distracted. We can decide what we dwell on and where we put our faith.
Thank you, Bethany, for these words. I can relate to your sentiments. It is weary when we focus on the crazy. I am working on trusting and relying continually on the goodness of God. He is good no matter what the world around me says. 🙂 Blessings, RQ
I agree, so much has changed, and is continuing to change. We need to find stillness in God to reach peace in the midst of the chaos.
Yeah, I don’t think the world will ever go back to what it was, but hopefully we will learn from this. No matter what, the biggest lesson is that God is always in control and He never changes, and though this caught us by surprise, He knew it was coming.
Amen!
This is so good. Thanks for sharing.
Visiting from #34