Today’s prompt is Lost.
I’ve skipped FMF for the last few weeks, mostly because I felt like I didn’t have anything to say. I’ve felt a bit empty and lost the last few weeks. There have been good things, like family vacations to the beach, preparation for the visit of long time friends and looking forward to a weekend without kids to attend a family wedding. But mostly it’s been lots of laundry, a toddler who never listens, not enough sleep and trying desperately to get my eating and exercise habits under control. (With more success in the former than the latter). I’ve fallen admittedly into my usual trap of using food to relax. Sweet things at nap time and after the kids are in bed for the night. Are these things inherently bad? No, but I know that they shouldn’t be my coping mechanism.
We’re approaching some big decisions in our family. How to handle our first year homeschooling more formally (though still not required to register with the state yet), when/if we will grow our family, how we will augment our income to help us pay off our debt. It’s overwhelming at times. Most days I try not to think about it and just keep moving, as though if I stop too long I’ll realize how confusing things really are. But then when I finally do stop I’m not sure where I am. Are these goals I’m working towards still something I want? Do I need to let go of some long held responsibilities? Create more margin in my life? All I can see around me is the forest and the path seems so unclear.
These are the times when I should be standing still and wait for help to find me. Seeking the wisdom of my Father and Creator, knowing that he has a plan. I’ll admit that I haven’t really been doing that lately. So I’m going to try and start again. Forget what I haven’t done in past and just strive to do better until I am found again.
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