Remember When? How the Valleys of Yesterday Prepare Us for the Hilltops of Tomorrow

This is my favorite time of year. I’m fully within the throes of embracing the Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas sweep. While it can be a time of stress and busyness it is usually also a time of remembrance for me. Significant things seem to happen for our family around this time of year so it’s a good time to look back over all we have been through, and all that God has done.

This time three years ago, our offer was accepted on this house, and we were desperately searching for tenants for our previous property. (Spoiler alert, we found them just in time.) Two years ago, my husband accepted a dream job offer. Then this time last year he had been unemployed for three months and we weren’t sure how we were going to make it financially past the end of the year. Now he has been with a new company for almost five months (with a little bit of contract income on the side.) A lot can change in a year.

I’m glad that I continued blogging during that journey because instead of isolating myself out of fear and embarrassment, I’m looking back now at all that I learned through the process.

At the time, it didn’t feel particularly glorious. There were a lot of tearful prayers and restless nights. But we also saw triumphs and testaments to the goodness of God, just not the way we expected. There was no better job before the year’s end. But there was a contract position that paid the bills and helped restore my husband’s confidence. There were also gift cards, envelopes of cash, a shockingly large check, and anonymous Christmas gifts. God was glorified on his terms, not mine. He displayed his goodness in ways I wouldn’t have chosen, and yet I cannot argue with.

One of the many companies my husband interviewed with last fall came back to him six months ago with a “we invite you to reapply” that led to a quick offer. A good offer. Not a “beyond our wildest dreams, even better than the dream job” kind of opportunity but a solid, orchestrated by God kind of situation that put our family our a solid path forward.

The valleys of the past year have taught me much about how to live. I’m trying to embrace and enjoy the triumphs without worrying about what might be coming next. I’m trying to hold more loosely to my own plans and goals. This planner girl is actually planning less. I have a general idea of what I’d like, and then I accept that things may change, and I roll with it.

This is not what I thought my life would look like coming towards the end of 2019, but in many ways, it’s better. There is joy and peace, where previously there would have been anxiety and caution. There is gratitude where in the past I would have only seen lack. Those dark valleys have prepared me to better enjoy the hilltops (and sometimes even identify them as hilltops at all).

I may still be somewhat apprehensive about the unknown ahead, but I will keep retelling myself again and again the stories of his goodness, remembering all the God has done before. Believing that he will be faithful to the end.