As has so often been the case the last few years of my life, this is not the Christmas I was expecting.
I was planning blog posts announcing that we were finally debt-free after almost ten years of dutifully paying off student loans. I was hopefully going to talk about the upcoming launch of my Lenten devotional. I was looking forward to blogging about the season of Advent and how I celebrate it with my family.
None of that happened.
Instead, my family spent most of early December recovering from a Thanksgiving case of COVID. I had a mild case. My husband ended up with pneumonia and a hospital stay. While we are all home and healthy now, it was a strange experience.
The anxiety of being separated. The isolation that still exists in hospitals around the country. Struggles with communication and patient advocacy. Trying to coordinate communication with family members in three different states, care for my kids and also recover myself.
I won’t be winning any mom awards. I didn’t cook for almost two weeks. (Though my 6 year old proudly tells anyone who will listen that he ate a lot of hot dogs). I barely maintained the ability to function, struggling to eat and sleep as my body processed the anxiety of it all. But as has often been the case in my adult life, the people of God showed up.
Friends did my grocery shopping, and even my laundry. Family members provided support and cleaned my house so my husband could come home to peace rather than chaos. My boss and co-workers covered for me until I could return. People sent gift cards for grocery and food delivery. A kind friend brought and set up a Christmas tree. I got to know my husband’s remote co-workers a bit as I served as a liaison, providing updates while he was in the hospital and during his early recovery.
Advent is my favorite time of year and it makes me sad that I didn’t get to celebrate the way I would have preferred.
Yet when I look at my Christmas tree I am reminded of the kindness of friends. When I pull clean clothes from my children’s drawers I am grateful for the service of others. When I climb into bed beside my husband at night, I’m grateful for his easy, normal breathing (even when it keeps me awake). Sometimes the greatest joys of this season are in the mere presence of those we love, and symbols of that love.
We may not make Christmas cookies this year. Decorating has been kept to a minimum. But my house feels full of the spirit of gratitude and heavy with the reality of the Incarnation. The reminder that this earthly existence, however lovely, is a mere shadow of the wonder and beauty that is to come. Each Christmas we are all invited to remember this and stand aside in awe.
It sounds like a perfect Advent season to me. I am so glad you and your beloved husband are on the mend to being completely well. Enjoy the season and don’t worry about the rest of “stuff” – it’s just stuff.
True. Most of it is just “stuff.” I’m a little crazed with gluten free baking for my kiddo with Celiac this week. But I’m trying to carve out space to relax and enjoy the beauty, and simplicity of the season.