Thanksgiving Amid Want: Learning About Gratitude in a Time of Scarcity

A little over a year ago, my husband left his company of ten years for an amazing new opportunity. Every barrier was stripped away and every concern resolved. We were completely confident in our choice. It was just before Thanksgiving and we felt like we had so much to be grateful for.

Then three months ago his new company let him go for insubstantial and unjust reasons. And here we sit, a year after such huge triumph with no income and the end of the year and holiday season fast upon us. In the last three months, I have learned new lessons in gratitude. But it hasn’t been what I expected.

I Need Less Than I Think

I’ve been grateful that we still have our house and manage to pay most of our bills. In the beginning, I used to feel a little twinge of pain every time I made the choice not to buy something non-essential that I was used to having. I still feel it sometimes, especially with the big sales coming up this weekend. But I’ve gotten fairly used to saying no, and I’m discovering how much I can get by without.

After years of being frugal, I thought that season of my life was done. The trick this time is keeping my heart in check. The temptation to become bitter is real. But I’d rather let this process make me stronger, than rot me away from the inside.

It’s Ok to Need Help
I’m learning that there is no shame in being helped, and there is no point in keeping score.

The point is not to make sure that you give more than you get, but that we learn to value people over things, and relationships over resources. I’ve had to let friends buy me gift cards for groceries, relatives pay for things we need but don’t have the funds for, and accept payment for things I used to happily do for free.

As hard as it’s been, it has given me a new respect for the other side of giving. I’m also deeply grateful to be able to continue to feed my kids and heat my home while my husband continues his diligent search.

I Can Always Find Something to Be Grateful For

I titled this post Thanksgiving Amid Want but the truth is we aren’t in want. Yes, we have a lot less than we used to. We don’t know how we are going to pay our bills more than a month or so ahead but we are managing. If you’d asked me about this four months ago, when it looked like my husband might lose his job, I never thought it would last this long. But I also didn’t think we could survive this long either.

It’s easy to let my days revolve around all that I don’t have, but I can also focus on the hidden blessings of this season. Since he has been home, my husband has been able to take a more active role in the children’s education and general homekeeping tasks.

I’ve been lucky enough to pick up a few babysitting jobs, which has added some stress to my life but has also been essential to paying our bills. I’m grateful that I am able to do this, and that my husband can manage the school work with the kids on the days I’m gone for a large chunk of the day.

The best and most painful part of all of this has been the spiritual stretching. Growth is hard, if I’m honest, I don’t always like being challenged. There has been quite a lot of that lately and some days I just want to lay down and coast for a while. But I also believe that these are days of preparation.

I’m reminded of when I was training for my 5K. I hated it most days, but I wanted to run the race, so I kept going. Each day got harder, but I also got stronger.

I may not have the budget for a fancy Christmas ahead, but I’m grateful to be spending it with family. We may have to make do with simpler meals, but no one is going hungry. We may not know what the future holds, but we have each other to hold onto.

Tomorrow when we gather with our extended family to celebrate Thanksgiving, I’ll be able to honestly say that God has been very good to us. He’s never failed us yet, and he won’t start now.