Throw Out the Clock: Don’t Make Up for Lost Time

I feel like I’ve lost a year of my life. 

I’ve said that phrase more times than I can count in the last year. If I look at my life a year ago, not much has changed. I’m another year older a few pounds heavier and a few thousand words written. Little progress in my writing goals and lots of quiet in my online spaces. 

A year ago this time we were preparing for a rare time away, as I got ready to accompany my husband on his company retreat to a beautiful resort. When we returned we all fell quickly ill with a nasty flu that kept the whole family down and housebound for a couple of weeks, it was a full month before I recovered fully and then quarantine began.

I still can’t believe it’s been a year since those happy warm days of sitting on a beach, getting on a plane again for the first time in 16 years, and having some blessed, much needed time away from my kiddos.

I cling to that scripture in Joel 2:25 where God says that he will restore the years the locusts have eaten. I know this doesn’t mean that I will literally get everything I missed out on but sometimes it means God has something better, even if it doesn’t look like it on the surface.

This scripture is also a reminder that God sees our suffering and it does not go unnoticed. He will restore us, but perhaps not in the way we expect or even during our time on this earth.

I think as we emulate Jesus and become more like him, we need to become more timeful in our actions. Jesus was busy but never hurried in his time on earth. He had such short time on earth and even less to his ministry, and yet he never rushed. He knew exactly what he was there to accomplish.

This doesn’t mean we never show up on time, throw away our watches and calendars, and just hope for the best. I still have necessary appointments to schedule and attend, and library books that are due. It’s more about how I look at my time and my life.

The last year despite the clearing of our calenders, was filled with urgency. Things seemed to change suddenly and quickly and there was a demand for quick solutions (if not, sadly, well thought out ones). But when I look at the life of Jesus I don’t see urgency. I see thoughtful, prayerful, intentionality.

I’ve had lots of people in my life die young. I’ve already lived longer than a beloved aunt (and a dear friend who was the same age when she died). It tends to give life a sense of urgency. I feel deeply discouraged when I see how little I accomplished in the last year.

I feel as though last year was the perfect window for some key events in my life, things that I will never get back. It feels as though our country and even the world has lost so much that can never be regained in my lifetime.

Most of us are still processing the events of the last year, and that’s OK. You don’t owe the world or even yourself, a knee jerk response, or a cliche answer. We don’t yet know, nor may we ever comprehend, the long term results of the events of the last year.

But I know who to look to as an example.

You don’t need to make up for lost time or double down on your goals and plans because of 2020. There is no rush to respond or act due to external or internal pressure. If the Son of God who had only a limited window of time to complete his entire earthly work (and better than half that time he spent as an infant or child, entirely dependant on his earthly parents) could live with unhurried, thoughtful intention, then so can we.