She was always a picky eater. Well, that’s not technically true. As a baby she ate almost anything I put in front of her, but around age three suddenly she had preferences. From there on a food left her diet every few months until now, where an entire food group must go for her health and we are striving to replace it. It hasn’t been easy.
Meetings with doctors and nutritionists yield little hope beyond “Keep offering her new foods, eventually she’ll find something she likes” and “Make sure she understands the potential consequences of not following the proper diet.”
As though any eight year old can comprehend the concept of future bodily damage and disease or the concept of co-morbidity. Click To TweetI do my best to help my daughter avoid the things that will make her ill, but I cannot force her to eat what will make her strong. I continue to education, support and explain but no words from me with magically make her taste buds prefer chicken with quinoa over boxed gluten free mac & cheese. This is becoming one of the first of many tests for me in releasing my children to God.
If she doesn’t follow her diet behind my back, especially as she gets older, she will feel ill and possibly do herself long-term damage. If she doesn’t expand the palate of foods that she can and will eat, she will continue to be in pain and nutritionally deficient.
I cannot control this.
I cannot control her.
I educate my children and try to impart my values to them, but ultimately they will choose their own path. Truthfully, I thought I had a few more years before I was going to have to deal with this. But there will be more times like this as I extend her more responsibilities and privileges.
She will make mistakes, they all will. I don't like that part. Click To TweetI want to protect them from the pain of making the wrong choices. But in some cases, that assumes too much on my part. I am her mother, and in many cases, I do know what is right for her. But I am only a steward of this beautiful little soul. All of her days were written before one of them came to be. She was known and loved by one far greater than I before she was even yearned for by my earthly, parental heart.
Today I will meet with another nutritionist. Tomorrow I will go to the grocery store armed with yet another food list. Each day I will remind her of what she needs and hope she will choose what is best. But I am also trying to untangle, deep in my heart the tethers that tie to her me, slowly preparing for the time when I will need to fully release her into hands stronger and better equipped than mine.
I don’t look forward to this time, but neither do I dread it. It is simply the natural order of things.
Her diagnosis may have forced my hand sooner than I would have liked, but the ability to control and protect was an illusion. Even in my womb, I could not protect my babies, why did I think it would be easier to do so on the outside? I am beginning to accept this, resisting the urge to hold on by my finger nails and praying all the while for discernment with the hows and whens of this parenting journey.
Thanks for sharing about your journey. I don’t have kids of my own but I can identify with having to release certain things back up to God. Your FMF neighbor #24
Bless you as you care for your daughter! I have a little understanding as my children had food intolerances and we followed special diets–but as you say there comes a time when we release them, their physical health to the Lord. We keep praying for them and for our wisdom as parents. God is faithful. I’m visiting from FMF.
Thank You for sharing your journey. Praying!
This is one area I don’t have much experience with – but I do know all about releasing my children. Doing all you can – but also remembering we are only the steward for a short time and ultimately they are His. This continues through childhood and even into adulthood. And sometimes it is easier to remember than others.