Why Yes, I Am: Finding Confidence in My Identity as a Writer

When someone hears I am a writer and a blogger the inevitable next questions is “How long have you been blogging?”

I hate this question. Because the truth is I’ve been blogging an embarrassingly long time for someone who hasn’t yet hit it big. I began blogging the same year as thousands of other women. In fact Time Magazine called it the year of the Mom Blog. Since then I indie published a book without any knowledge of the platform building necessary to make it succeed. I have multiple other book projects at various levels of completion. But when I look back at how long I’ve been actively putting my worlds out into the world, I doubt myself.

For a while I wondered if I was even a writer anymore, because all of my available time and effort went into maintaining and trying to grow a blog rather then producing any kind of product. A blog is a wonderful too, but writing posts can become a bit like laundry and dishes, time sensitive and perpetual. Whereas a book is a creation that continues to exist, even if you never put pen to page again.

After closing in on a decade of blogging, and still doing it in virtual obscurity, I doubted whether there was any point in continuing when so many of my words are lost in the void. I questioned whether it is the best use of my time when my family needs me now, both physically and financially at times. I wonder if I have what it really takes to be a writer.

I don’t want to be the kind of person who says “Someday I’ll write a book, when I have the time.”

During the times when I can’t manage to get my thoughts down on paper, I find myself swirling ideas around in my head, and scratching down phrases and sentences on random scraps of paper. Basically, even when I think I’m not writing, I’m preparing to write. I may never been a successful blogger, but words are in my soul.

I may not be confident in my ability to become well known, or profitable, but I am confident in writing as part of who I am. It has become as much a part of me as my eye and hair color. Sure, I could try to change it but not without a great deal of effort and upkeep. It’s easier to just be who I am, even when I can’t harness it to it’s most efficient.

So yes, I am writer, thanks for asking. I have a little blog that I use as part of my regimen to strengthen my creative muscles.  I published a book, and hopefully I’ll have another on the way next year. But even I never publish again, I am still a woman of words, a spinner of yearns, a writer.