When the world is full of suffering we can feel powerless. When someone we care about is hurting, we can feel just as powerless. We know we should do something but we aren’t sure what.

It’s actually OK to ask how we can help.

I often feel like asking is a burden to the person you are trying to help. But I think it’s Ok to do that sometimes.

The only thing sadder than being afraid to help is generosity that is unhelpful and actually making more work. Click To Tweet

Maybe bringing a meal sounds like a nice idea, but the person has strict dietary requirements you don’t know about so a gift card to the grocery store is more useful. You may think that coming to hold the new baby to give mama’s arms a break will be kind, but actually she may prefer you to take the big kids to the park instead so she and baby can focus on bonding.

Generosity isn’t supposed to be about us. We need to make sure that the people we are extending it to are getting the maximum benefit. This means being willing to do things that may be out of our usual comfort zone.

Ask someone how you can help. Sometimes you just need to act. But other times, we need to make sure that what we have to offer is helpful and needed.
Think about what you might need most in that situation but don’t assume. Take the time to ask.

 

Next – When I Don’t Want to Be Generous: Fighting With My Selfish Humanity