Not All Who Search Are Discontented, Not All at Rest Are Stuck

Contentment has gotten a bad rap. It sounds nice but, at least culturally speaking, it’s become a buzz word for apathy, a synonym for not good enough.

Being content with this life doesn’t mean that I don’t desire more or better. But it does mean that I choose to celebrate and be grateful for what is in front of me. It means that I choose not to miss out on the wonder of the moment I am in, rather than constantly reaching towards the next.

But sometimes a bit of discontent is good. It stirs up the waters, to let us see what deep desires there are that we might have forgotten. That existential itch that leads us to analyze our lives and examine our hearts to see if God is trying to speak to us.

Our lives cycle back and forth between static growth and transportive growth. Sometimes we have to stay in place for a while because some important things need to happen. This can be true of times of recovery and times of intense growth. Whenever my kids are about to go through a growth spurt I notice they eat more and they sleep more. Their bodies are preparing for a big change and they need fuel and rest to do this. Our spirits can be like this too. Sometimes I am too hard on myself. What I see as laziness may be a God given call to rest. What I see as stagnation may be a time of insular intense growth.

But when that time of growth is completed, we may find ourselves searching again, looking for the next thing. This isn’t always bad. But we need to be willing to ask ourselves some important questions.

Are you looking for the next thing because you are tired of the current one? Is this phase of your life requiring too much to stay the course and it seems easier to start over with something, somewhere or someone else? I know I’ve often felt that way. My marriage is too hard, my kids are too difficult, my life is too limited. But those are not searching words, those are fleeing words.

But sometimes we want to move on because we should. We aren’t running away, we are being drawn. This is an important spiritual and psychological difference that takes a lot of discernment to figure out. I still struggle to do this on my own without the advice of those I trust and serious prayer on the matter.

Usually the signs I see that my searching heart is a healthy one are that I am almost content to stay where I am. Almost, but not quite. When staying feels too easy and moving forward a little scary, I’m usually on the right track. When I know I could do nothing, and continue on as I am, and it would probably be good. But stretching myself, pushing myself into something new has the potential to be better.

I wish I could tell you exactly what you should do in your own situation. Sometimes I’m not even sure what to do about my own existential angst. But I do know where I point you for direction. Seek God’s will this phase of your life. Ask him, in the simplest, most honest terms what he wants you to do. Then ask him to make it as clear as possible. I believe that when we do this, he will be faithful to provide a clear direction. Then, when we get our answers, it’s up to us to embrace our staying or our going.