To say that I trust is not enough. What do I trust in? I can’t trust that nothing bad will ever happen, that some how I will be the exception to the brokenness of this world. That because I was born somewhere that is rarely war torn and have lacked for little in my life that if I just pray hard enough that will continue.
I do believe that when the hard times come, (and I know it is a when not an if) that God will be faithful. I can say those words without knowing exactly what it means. Just as I know my human father will be there for me, in any circumstance as long as his human body will allow him. He will not fix my problems, but I know he will walk through them with me. How much more I can be certain that my heavenly Father, who has no limits, will do the same. I trust in who he is, not what he does for me.
I know this doesn’t mean I won’t experience grief or loss, but that his comfort will be there.
Sometimes I feel the fear and worry creeping in, that when the bad times come that I won’t be sustained and the storm will drown me. This is my struggle. Mostly a struggle to lay down that fear.
Because even in my limited way (I realize how very limited each day that passes), I know who he is. He is just but merciful, Loving but holy. To ask him to be anything else for my convenience is impossible not to mention self serving. I must accept that his ways are higher than mine, that in his infinite mercy he is able to work all things together for good and that his vengeance and consolation will be there.
I do not have all of this fleshed out yet, but I walk the words out daily in my reactions and attitudes, and I often fail miserably.
“Safe? . . Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. “
-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe