This week Jamie Martin encourages her reader to embrace the season they are in. I’ve heard this advice often. When the house is a mess and at the end of the day it seems like all you’ve accomplished is keeping the kids alive, fed and maybe clean. People will tell you, it’s just a season of your life, it will pass. This is true. Life ebbs and flows with its patterns, routines and difficulties. The sleeplessness of the baby years is replaced with toddler tantrums and preschooler whining. Each time of life has its own wonders and difficulties.
I’m trying very hard not to just get through the season that I’m in but look for the things to enjoy about it. Jamie highlights winter in particular. Winter can seem like a cold, harsh time, but spring will come. But at the same time, we don’t need to dread the coming of winter either if we can remember the cozy times by the fire.
I would like to have another child in the next couple of years, but one of the things that gives me pause is remembering how hard things were after the birth of my son. I remember the fearful pregnancy following our miscarriage, the gestational diabetes, overdue delivery and postpartum hemorrhage. I think of the many sleepless nights, the feedings issues and months of nursing, pumping and supplementing. Looking back I don’t remember doing much else but surviving. I’m hoping that my next pregnancy and birth experience won’t be like that, but I remember the chill of winter and it makes me fearful.
But when the times comes that we decide we are ready to grow our family I’m going to try my best, by God’s grace and mercy, not to focus on the hard times that may be coming, but the joy. The chubby newborn smiles. The wonderful alert but immobile phase. (As the mother of a running, busy toddler, I have a whole new appreciation for this). I think about my daughter’s tender moments with her baby cousin this past year. There will be wonderful, beautiful times even among the difficulties.
Right now my life feels like an exercise in repetition. But I’m trying desperately to remember that this is a season of my life that won’t come this exact way again. My children may be a handful but there are special things happening in their minds and hearts, even if it is crocuses beginning to sprout below the surface. I may have to remind myself a few dozen times a day, but what I do does matter. This difficulties won’t last, though there will always be new ones, but I can focus on the good things that are happening and it will make the hardships a little more bearable.